I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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