Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
