it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We left the knife in your bed.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
sex in a hospital.. check
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
