I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She bit a glass in half.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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