sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize