Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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