watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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