and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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