we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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