I cockslap morals
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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