Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
