Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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