Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
