Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
