there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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