thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
