I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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