I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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