Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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