if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
