i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
