I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize