He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
