By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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