i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
