she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
