My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
