I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
