the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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