using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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