Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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