That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
