i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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