Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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