I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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