Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize