Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
