i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
