Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
