I need help removing her.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
