i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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