I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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