My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
