I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
this will be a night to untag.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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