Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Everclear isn't food dammit
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