I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
