remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Someone signed my nipple.
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