OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
