my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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