I saw his package. It spoke to me.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
