As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize