Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
