I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
