I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
