I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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