I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Randomize
