Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize