I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
