I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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