I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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