How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
