Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
