There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize