awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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