I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize