my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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