Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
