I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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