oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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