I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
