I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
