Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
