then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
