How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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