The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Houston, we have a blender
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
