so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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