Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
