brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I believe in your delicious
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
