I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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